I think I have to let go…let go of a lot of things and just focus on what’s important…I have labeled myself a stay at home mom for quite some time when in reality I work work work and struggle with juggling it all. I am hitting my 6th year of being in a full-fledged business that the government would consider as a business and it is just now making me realize this is for real. I have to learn to let go of my fears of failure as a mom and as a businesswoman. I’ve come to realize that the label I gave myself…the stay at home mom came with a lot of guilt and dread that I could not do it all…keep the house in order, yard work…making time with the family, keeping in touch with my friends, and being there for my kids. Why did it take so many years to learn how to balance life? I can answer that now…I no longer want to live with the guilt…I now know I cannot DO it all…and I am perfectly fine with that. My house is shambles 50% of the time…laundry will remain to be piled up (I am okay with that!) and my form of voluntary was visiting my daughter at school and surprising her for lunch…I am up until the wee hours at night to get my editing down because I wanted to enjoy my days more but it never happened…I continued to work throughout my days and now here I am 6 years later wondering where the time went. I even felt guilty that I couldn’t get the family together in one place at one time to update our family pictures…My youngest grew 5 feet it feels like, my oldest has blonde hair and I have gained 20 pounds (well maybe that’s a good thing then lol). For a professional photographer I felt it was necessary to have it updated, but as a mom I DO want it updated, but if it doesn’t happen…it doesn’t happen and I am perfectly okay with that!Don’t get me wrong I LOVE the fact I am busy…I couldn’t be happier… I love what I do for a living and it is making a living…I just had to learn how to treat it like a normal job!
But what is nice is that this job can be done in the comfort of my own home…I am here to get my youngest off the bus because in a few years she won’t need me too… I love the fact that I still get tons of hugs and kisses and I LOVE YOU’s throughout my day and the support I get from my hubs…if he wasn’t here I honestly don’t know how I would juggle some of the things I do. SO my new label is ”work at home mom” and I am loving it…I love using my creativity on a daily basis and love that I help my oldest daughter out with her new adventure and I am here for my two kids still at home. The moment I let go of the guilt was the second a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I felt free… to be imperfect. Its amazing how much I started loving myself again…and now I can start loving my hubs, family, and friends the way they deserve to be loved!