child photography,  couple photography,  family photography,  The official blog

How a stranger can help you take time to reflect…

I find myself staying up later and later these days…no matter how early I say I am going to bed ~ it just never happens…and then I’m totally exhausted in the morning {I am not a morning person in the first place} and it makes it extremely difficult to combine work and getting the kids ready for school ~ quite the challenge when I need to be out the door to get them there on time. So after grabbing Frankie, Haley, and Harmonie bright and early and running to a location to check out lighting for a photo shoot one morning – I promised Dunkin Donuts after the location scouting and on our way before school.  Looking like one totally exhausted mama, I walked into Dunkin Donuts with a half dressed 4 year old squirming to get out of my hands and my 10 year old asking over and over again  ”Mom can I have a chocolate milk”…and Haley asking “Mama Vic can I have the princess donut?”.  When I was paying for my order ~ an elderly lady looked at me and quietly said ~ “That was the best time of my life”. She said it with such sorrow that it hit my every essence. Holy crap…is this it?? Is this the best time of my life?  I’ve already have a college age daughter that I miss terribly…my son will be a senior in high school…and I’m rushing through every possible moment I can enjoy. I know I am unquestionably in love with all aspects of my life. Great husband, amazing kids and stepkids, loving and supportive friends, decent home {although its been neglected the past year}, annoying dog {no I love her}…. You know what I mean ~ things are just simple and good.  So this is the best time of my life…and I’ve let so many years FLY by without realizing it…how I miss so much of it already with the older children.   I think back when the older kids were so desperate to be 16…which quickly became  ”OHHHH, I can’t wait to be 21″ . Oh how I remember those days…life wasn’t about trying to figure out who I was in my 20′s, let me tell you how fun that era was. Finally my bright light, at 26 my first child was born.  You just never knew what that unconditional love was all about. I listen to this lady with tears in my eyes and all those times of  ” I can’t wait to get married” and then we were married and “I can’t wait to have kids”…it all goes by so quickly. I now sit here at the age of 46 and I no longer am saying “Oh I can’t wait to be 50 ~ EEK that scares me to death…I am not even at the stage in my life where I can say “I can’t wait to retire…I LOVE my job and my passion for art and photography. It wasn’t until my 40’s when I did my soul searching and tried to figure out who I was or what my destiny was.  I am a 46-year-old woman who would love to strike a deal with Father Time but it looks like he isn’t willing to accept any bribery. I thank God everyday I have found ways to capture memories through photography for myself and other families but regret the times in the past where I slacked off because I know like with a snap of a finger ~ the best time of my life ~ will be my children’s best time of their lives. I am here not going to absorb all that “simple and goodness” in my life as much as possible. My oldest daughter is in her 3rd year of college, my son is going to be a senior next year and my baby is going to start middle school…wow…and my two step daughters are in college as well…yikes…we went to a house full of kids to just two kids left…so when my daughter crawls into bed to snuggle while the jealous dog jumps on the bed to make sure she is included in as well I am going to hang onto these years as long as I can because I know they are numbered. It wasn’t so much sadness that I heard in this woman’s voice as much as regret, so I am here to make sure I don’t have that much regret and just enjoy life as it comes…I feel blessed that I see the world differently than others with my artist eye… but sometimes can be too busy and miss some precious moments that were right in front of me.

The next day I took the kids to the rec center to enjoy the water during these cold winter months and just cannot believe how lucky I was to witness all of their milestones they have hit so far in their young lives and so grateful that I can.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *