The Beginning of the End….The End of Cancer That Is…

…it was a normal doctor visit for Greg (the hubs) on November 20, 2015…complaint for a sore throat he had for some time…each visit they would give him a z-pac and some anti-inflammatory medication and see if it helps…come back and they can schedule a CT scan and referred to an ENT. Holidays came and went…but his sore throat never did…instead it become more painful and he had new pain in his ear. January 28th we thought was a normal visit…get a scope down the throat…feel for swollen glans…doc feels something so he ordered a CT…and to be completely honestly with you we didn’t think anything of it…went to grab some lunch and ended up with a phone call to please follow up with the ENT. At what point do you think of the “C” word…why would they be so concerned with a sore throat…my thought it can get cleared up with some medicine. All this time the hubs went to the doctors by himself (this is usual for us) but when the ENT appointment came up I wanted to go with him…I was very concerned on “what” they have “found”. Not once did the doctor mention the “C” word but yet it lingered….lingered so loudly in the dead air…you just knew what it was. I remember studying Greg’s face to see if he understand what the doctor was talking about…I saw no change in his face so I grew more concerned for him. The silence of listening to the doctor was so deafening I had to interrupt and ask if it was “cancer” – there I said it….CANCER…and then I immediately stared at Greg…waiting for his reaction…why I don’t know….maybe to make sure he’s grasping all of this…I was having a hard time…its not me with the “C” word…its him…the man I love…and cannot even understand how he must be feeling at that moment in time…

I stared back at the doctor and felt the room being even more quiet…patiently waiting for his response…and it was simply…yes…it is…we are 99% sure! BOOM…there it was…officially out in the open…now what the hell do you do with that?

How do you handle such news…how he is going to tell his kids? What the hell is the next step?

They schedule you with an oncologist that is literally a flipping month ahead…WHAT THE F**K!?! Greg has to wait 3-4 weeks before he can even know his fate…at this time we don’t even know what type of cancer it is…how curable is it? Again I am thinking of the hubs and what might be swimming around in his mind…my has forever been changed…I feel I’ve been in a cloud. What will my role be in this? I have to be his rock…his cheerleader {I am usually the emotional one…I cry at happy commercials…happy and sad songs…movies…crap even Disney movies}…how do I become his rock when all of this makes me so sad?

Two weeks go by and we had some time to soak all this in…the oncologist even moved up his appointment and we were able to meet his team from the Cleveland Clinic. All I can say is what a wonderful place to have in our own backyard…they have been nothing but WONDERFUL and extremely supportive {I know many would say its their job, but I am believing they are going over and beyond their jobs}. We received good news that the cancer is curable and his 5 year survival rate is good…but unfortunately he will be going through hell and back. Chemo and radiation, together, at the same time is what is planned. Chemo is about 7 hours long every 3rd Monday…and radiation…well that is Monday through Friday for 7 weeks…ugh…how our life has changed. I had no idea it would be a marathon of appointments and tests that needed to be taken place…and I cannot believe how good Greg is handling all of this for the most part…sure we have cried more times in the 2 months than we have our entire relationship, but with the love and support from family and friends he knows he’s got this…cancer may have arrived…but its on its way out! And it starts today! Today is the first day of his long journey.

Its amazing how different we handle stress…I have to talk about it…write my thoughts down…take photos…{no surprise there} and the hubs is the opposite…he overall remains quiet..he will let me know his fears and concerns but remains quiet. I read all that I can for this type of cancer…and all the terrible side effects he will endure…but Greg just trusts his doctors words and is taking one day at a time…so this is where it begins…it begins at the end of this damn “C” word…

…we got this.

I will be updating my thoughts and the progress of Greg’s entire journey to let family and friends know what is going on…and its simply my way of dealing with it all. I will have to say this year is the year of transitions…a test of faith and emotional strength. It is mind boggling on how to stay organized through it all…so here I am holding hands with the man I love taking it one day at a time.

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